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Dear
Ms. Parker:
We met this afternoon at the Kwanzaa festival, I promised I would e-mail you
and tell you how your "Black Man" poem spoke to my heart.
When I first picked up your book last year, I was captivated by your poem in
the back of the book, I spoke to me because being in the military as long as
I have been, I have witnessed first hand of the glass ceiling that you spoke
of. I have been a victim of the what the poems says. It took me some time
but I woke up, and I realized that I must make a way for myself as a man and
as a father.
I married young, and when my first child was born, I never wanted him to
experience what I went through as a child. My mother died when I was 8 years
old, and the only memory I have of her is the night she died because I was
sleeping with her. My father was a long distance truck driver, I never
really knew him and when my mother passed he remarried a year later. Now in
hind sight I understood why he did that. It was because he was worried about
getting his 3 younger children off to school while he was out on the road.
Now this woman he married, was a witch. ( to put it mildly) she separated my
father from his kids with the exception of me because being the youngest I
knew he was a different man when she wasn't around. She moved her kids in,
and effectively moved my brothers and sisters out when my father was on the
road. I was the only one who wasn't leaving no matter what I faced. I loved
my father to no end. He was the type of man that never knew how to show
love, but I knew he loved me. I was his only son who followed his footsteps
and joined the Navy like he did. I also did the same job as he did when he
served during WWII. Although he never got a chance to see me in uniform, I
wanted to make him proud of me nonetheless.
This brings me to my way of being a father. I was never told by my father
the he loved me. He never put is arm around me to tell me he was proud of
me, nor did he ever show any type of emotion. The day I left to join the
Navy, he shook my hand and said they will take care of you. With my kids, I
am much different. I have the ability to break the cycle that I grew up
with. I tell my kids daily that I love them, and I tell them of how proud I
am of them. Being a Black Man, I know the struggle my kids are going to face
when they graduate from high school. I know the many traps they are going to
be snared in. I left high school and was blind sided by what the world had
to offer. It was because I in the company of older brothers when I joined
that I was taken under their wings and showed the "ropes."
I am a firm believer that no matter what your faced with in this world,
being a father is the most rewarding. I can tell you first hand the joy of
raising my children, and watching them grow from infants to young black men
with solid minds and attitudes. I did the best I could to make them prepared
for what their going to face. Granted things transpired that made me want to
walk away from my family, but as a black man, I couldn't fathom another man
raising my children. or no man being present and they having to learn about
this world from their own devices. I have seen first hand too many young
brothers not have a father or a father figure to answer questions or to
clear up the many misconceptions that most young men have about the world.
My children are now 16&17. I have had some wonderful conversations with
them, and I have been able to impart my wisdom and knowledge to them. I have
been able to do the things that were never done by my father. I will
wouldn't trade those days for anything in the world the times I spend
talking and laughing and joking with my two boys. No matter how I grew up, I
thought my father was the greatest person in the world. I can't help nor
change how he was brought up. He passed 2 months after my 18th birthday, and
I was in this world alone and with no one to call to ask questions. I
promised myself that when I had children, they would never experience what I
grew up with. They would never have to question like I did if my father
loved me, although I knew he did, not hearing those words had its effect on
me at certain points in my life.
Ms. Parker, I am very honored to meet you. I am also honored to have one of
your books in my possession. I never realized how much I enjoyed poetry
until I brought your life notes books. The poems in the book touched the
very depths of my soul. Once again, I am honored to make your acquaintance.
Many Blessings
Lawrence Stokes
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