Dear Ms. Parker:

We met this afternoon at the Kwanzaa festival, I promised I would e-mail you and tell you how your "Black Man" poem spoke to my heart.

When I first picked up your book last year, I was captivated by your poem in the back of the book, I spoke to me because being in the military as long as I have been, I have witnessed first hand of the glass ceiling that you spoke of. I have been a victim of the what the poems says. It took me some time but I woke up, and I realized that I must make a way for myself as a man and as a father.

I married young, and when my first child was born, I never wanted him to experience what I went through as a child. My mother died when I was 8 years old, and the only memory I have of her is the night she died because I was sleeping with her. My father was a long distance truck driver, I never really knew him and when my mother passed he remarried a year later. Now in hind sight I understood why he did that. It was because he was worried about getting his 3 younger children off to school while he was out on the road.

Now this woman he married, was a witch. ( to put it mildly) she separated my father from his kids with the exception of me because being the youngest I knew he was a different man when she wasn't around. She moved her kids in, and effectively moved my brothers and sisters out when my father was on the road. I was the only one who wasn't leaving no matter what I faced. I loved my father to no end. He was the type of man that never knew how to show love, but I knew he loved me. I was his only son who followed his footsteps and joined the Navy like he did. I also did the same job as he did when he served during WWII. Although he never got a chance to see me in uniform, I wanted to make him proud of me nonetheless.

This brings me to my way of being a father. I was never told by my father the he loved me. He never put is arm around me to tell me he was proud of me, nor did he ever show any type of emotion. The day I left to join the Navy, he shook my hand and said they will take care of you. With my kids, I am much different. I have the ability to break the cycle that I grew up with. I tell my kids daily that I love them, and I tell them of how proud I am of them. Being a Black Man, I know the struggle my kids are going to face when they graduate from high school. I know the many traps they are going to be snared in. I left high school and was blind sided by what the world had to offer. It was because I in the company of older brothers when I joined that I was taken under their wings and showed the "ropes."

I am a firm believer that no matter what your faced with in this world, being a father is the most rewarding. I can tell you first hand the joy of raising my children, and watching them grow from infants to young black men with solid minds and attitudes. I did the best I could to make them prepared for what their going to face. Granted things transpired that made me want to walk away from my family, but as a black man, I couldn't fathom another man raising my children. or no man being present and they having to learn about this world from their own devices. I have seen first hand too many young brothers not have a father or a father figure to answer questions or to clear up the many misconceptions that most young men have about the world.

My children are now 16&17. I have had some wonderful conversations with them, and I have been able to impart my wisdom and knowledge to them. I have been able to do the things that were never done by my father. I will wouldn't trade those days for anything in the world the times I spend talking and laughing and joking with my two boys. No matter how I grew up, I thought my father was the greatest person in the world. I can't help nor change how he was brought up. He passed 2 months after my 18th birthday, and I was in this world alone and with no one to call to ask questions. I promised myself that when I had children, they would never experience what I grew up with. They would never have to question like I did if my father loved me, although I knew he did, not hearing those words had its effect on me at certain points in my life. 

Ms. Parker, I am very honored to meet you. I am also honored to have one of your books in my possession. I never realized how much I enjoyed poetry until I brought your life notes books. The poems in the book touched the very depths of my soul. Once again, I am honored to make your acquaintance.


Many Blessings
Lawrence Stokes